Hot News

Israel's biggest cable provider, awesomely named Hot TV, has decided to drop CNN in favor of Al Jazeera English. The company argues that CNN charges way too much, way more than any of the competition.

It's nice to see my biases validated, if for unrelated reasons. I love Al Jazeera English and think that it's absurd that US networks refuse to carry it. Matter of principle my butt. There's no principle in refusing to do business with companies that produce high quality product because they're Arab companies.

Speaking of my butt, CNN sucks it.

The Jerusalem Post quotes a university professor saying the move isn't motivated by economics because, "It's a whole different kind of person who will watch." Perhaps, or perhaps not. In any case, the network shouldn't be expected to be concerned by anything other than the number of people watching and its expenses.

Score one for the democratizing effect of a free market

Laying the foundations for Dan's month of power

I am behind at work. I don't do that much during the day, even though I've already lapsed some deadlines for this month. I feel guilty about it and have done nothing to change it from some nihilistic impulse. This happens to some degree every month. The only thing that brings me any kind of regular sense of optimism is the fleeting Christmas vacation home I will be taking. I feel committed to return after this vacation for a few months at the least, but this will not work if my work experience continues in a guilty cycle of self-deterioration.

Therefore I will this year be submitting to the rigors of National Novel Writing Month, known as NaNoWriMo to those not embarrassed to say it. During the course of November, I and many others will attempt to write 50,000 words. This amounts to an average of 1,667 words a day, or something like 5-7 pages typed. It is what is known in Egypt and other former Ottoman territories a khazout, more so because I will have extra work during November.

Ya khallas, we maalesh. I will make the effort with all due commitment, under the theory that it will be a creative act of self-destruction, rather than the other kind. I may shave my head to begin the month, or perform nightly flagellations. The details aren't firm yet.

Why I am Homesick

Onion AV reviews this brilliant idea here.

Tomato flavored potato chips just don't cut it.

MB Jokesters Draft Political Platform

Everybody's favorite banned party, the Muslim Brotherhood, has finally announced a comprehensive political platform, still in draft form. Ahram Weekly reports that the brothers would like to see a state overseen by a college of clerics, like the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Christians and women wouldn't be eligible for the presidency under the brother's rules, which is silly to me. I come from a country where we are enlightened enough to use only informal ways of keeping undesirables from the top elected position. We don't pass legislation keeping women, jews or mormons from the presidency, we simply glut the airwaves with commentators wringing their hands over whether or not the nation is ready for such a thing. Come on, MB, you don't have to formally recognize your prejudices to effectively discriminate!

We also find in the Ahram article that the MB is not all about grim false piety. Mohammed Morsi, the guy who headed the committee that drafted the document, told the weekly the best joke I've heard all week: "We don't want a religious state."

Hilarious.

For your consideration

My new awesome beard, of which you are all incredibly jealous, was recently compared to that of Corporate Magnate/Evil Mastermind Hank "Sting You With Dreams of Power and a Stock Plan That Helps You Invest" Scorpio. I am flattered.